The Ukette Chapter 5

Title: The Ukette

Author: myinukoi

Pairing: SasuNaru, NejiNaru, GaaNaru, ShikaNaru, ChouNaru, KakaNaru, ShinoNaru, KibaNaru, LeeNaru, ItaNaru, SaiNaru.

Disclaimer: The characters portrayed in this story do not belong to me, but to the Naruto anime/manga series by Masashi Kishimoto. This is all fiction; No profit was made from this story so hence, I bear no responsibility for anything you may claim of this story.


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C h a p t e r 5: All for Naruto...
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"Are ya ready yet?"

"No."

"Hurry up! You guys eat too slow!"

"Shut up, dobe."

"Don't tell me to shut up you bastard! I'll kick your ass from here to Sand!"

"Naruto-kun," Sai interjected, disrupting the two boy's argument, "I'm done eating. What is it you want to show us."

The other men nodded as they were done too, but Sasuke just glared at them all.

Sasuke's Confessional: I don't have to hurry up for anybody! (Thinks: 'Harder Sasuke-teme! Faster! Hurry up, baka and stop teasing me!') Okay...for Naruto-uke (blush).

With one last glare at the crowd, Sasuke rose from his seat. "I'm done."

"Finally!" Kiba exclaimed, for he was never known for his patience.

Naruto rolled his eyes as Sasuke activated his Sharingan and turned to the dog lover. "Well then what the hell are you waiting for?! Get upstairs!”

The men grumbled past the hyperactive blond and dragged themselves upstairs. They really wished they were able to spend some more time with the boy...


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Sai, realizing in a quick stroke of genius why the blond was eager for them to go upstairs, raced to the top of the steps past the gloomy men.
Haha!

"Ultimate Ukette Mail!"

Sasuke, still somewhere near the bottom of the steps, growled. He was unofficially the one who was supposed to call out for the dobe's messages, not Sai!

"What does it say?" Neji asked, ready to use his Byakugan to read the message quickly and prepare for whatever the blond had in store for them. He no longer doubted the blond's ability to come up with slow, grueling, piss-your-pants worthy ideas to get the weaklings out of the competition.

The Byakugan-wielder smirked. Nauto's naughty side was such a turn on!

Sai began to read the letter aloud:

"Dear Semes (Naruto seemed to have once again scrawl in 'Ukes', but Iruka then crossed out Naruto's words and put them back as they originally were).

My birthday was October 10."

Sai stopped reading in shock and all the men in the room gasped.

It was!

How horrible are they? Fighting over a hot boy for years but they can't even bother to figure out his birthday?

Needless to say, they felt horribly guilty.

"Really..." Shikamaru breathed out in shame.

Sai continued reading.

"Yes, really. Since Iruka was sick with fever during my special day (AN: Or the author didn't update...), he thought it would be a good idea for us to celebrate it. Wow...my first real birthday celebration...and I'm spending it with such cute boys!"

The men all blushed.

"Meet me at the Konoha's mall (AN: We'll just say Konoha has a mall now...) at eleven AM. See ya soon!

-Naru-chan"

After Sai read and placed the letter down, he joined the tense silence that followed.

"H-How come no one knew of Naruto-kun's birthday?" Lee broke the silence.

Gaara's eyes narrowed at Kakashi. "I blame Kakashi! You're his sensei! Shouldn't you have known this?!"

Kakashi's one visible eye narrowed at the Shukaku-vessel.

"What the hell are you talking about?! I sooo did know of Naru-chan's birthday."

"No you didn't." Shikamaru said calmly.

"Yes I did!" Kakashi replied vehemently.

"No you didn't."

"You can't tell me whether or not I remembered my precious's birthday. If I said I remembered it, then I remembered it, dammit!"

"Did not." Shikamaru.

"Did too." Kakashi.

"Did not." Shikamaru.

"Did too." Kakashi.

"Did not." Shikamaru.

"Did too." Kakashi.

"Did too." Shikamaru.

"Did not." Kakashi.

Shikamaru smirked victoriously.

Kakashi finally caught on, "Waiiit! You tricked me!"

"What did you get him then?" Chouji interjected.

Pause.

"Something hella cool!"

"What?" Itachi joined in.

Kakashi's Confessional: (pout) Why is everyone ganging up on me?

"Fine! I didn't know okay. It doesn't matter! Naruto doesn't care for presents! He's not a material person! Anyways..." He turned to face Sasuke, "You should have known his birthday! You are his best friend!”

Many glared at this fact. Sasuke was the closest to the blond.

Sasuke crossed his arms over his chest, turned to the side, and put his nose in the air.

"No one told me."

The Semes gasped.

Sasuke's Confessional: I was busy thinking about other things about Naruto. Like his smile, his laugh, his whiskers, his grin, his cute nose, his lean body, his tight ass....

"Well," Kiba said, "I think the person to blame here is..."

And so the argument continued...threats, curses, jutsus, and accusations bounced across the room. Even a few fist flew (AN: 'few fist flew'...try saying that three times fast.), until...

"Shit you guys! We're gonna be late! It's ten fifty-five and we haven't even left to our rooms yet!" Sai exclaimed.

Neji's eyes widened, "We're late! I'm never late!" Then his eyes narrowed as he turned to the silver-haired Jounin...

"I blame Kakashi..."


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"Who the hell designed this mall Iruka-sensei! I don't see one freakin’ Ichiraku stand anywhere!"
Iruka sighed. "You are so right Naruto," he drawled sarcastically, "what were those retards thinking. No Ichiraku's..."

Naruto turned to his former sensei. "Yeah! You see, you understand me Iru-sensei. Everyone else would have been all like 'Naruto, that's so stupid! Why would they put an Ichiraku here in the mall...' yada yada yada."

"Aa." Iruka nodded absent-mindedly. "Speaking of everyone else Naruto, where is everyone else?"

Naruto looked around the entrance to the mall angrily. Yeah! Where are they?!

"Goddamn Ukes..." Iruka heard his surrogate son mutter.

"Language!" The Chuunin snapped.

Naruto waved off the scolding. "I'm eighteen and I can't even swear. That's some old bullshit right there Iru-" but Naruto was cut off as Iruka slapped the back of his head.

"Hn. When you're too old to avoid that, you can swear." Iruka puffed out his chest.

"Naruto-kun! Naruto-kun!"

Said boy turned to meet eleven hot, sweaty, blushed, out-of breath boys. Needless to say, the group gathered much attention.

"Sorry (pant) that we're late. Kakashi's (pant) fault." Chouji panted.

"Aa, it's always Kakashi's fault." Naruto nodded.

Kakashi pouted.

"Okay!" Naruto clapped his hands together to get the attention of the men. "So, I hope you are all ready for today's challenge."

Sai's Confessional: Challenge? If I knew we had a challenge I would have been more prepared. Dammit...

"To get straight to the point..." Naruto cleared his throat and then beamed at all the men. “I want presents. And lots of them!"

Kakashi spluttered.

...It doesn't matter! Naruto doesn't care for presents! He's not a material person!...

Kakashi's Confessional: Woooow! I could've sworn Naruto didn't care for those things; and here he is demanding that we get him presents. (Dramatically puts hand over his heart) Well, I never!

Itachi grinned. In all honesty, he expected this (AN: Of course!).

Itachi's Confessional: I mean really Naruto's gorgeous, kind, strong...too perfect to be true. He had to have some kind of weakness, a selfish fetish. Apparently it's having hot guys shop for him. (Shrug) Who would’ve guessed?

Neji sighed in happiness. A challenge practically made for him! He prides himself in being an excellent shopper.

Neji's Confessional: I bet he's the kind of guy who likes shoes. Probably black leather Armani ankle-cut boots for the winter. But I think he's more for comfort so maybe Prada white/silver sports running sneaks?

Shikamaru sighed.

Shikamaru's Confessional: Think simple...think simple... Brain Blast! (I couldn't resist! XD) Do you think they have an Ichiraku here?

Neji's Confessional: Oh! Or maybe shirts! There's this one Zegna button-up shirt...so hot on Naruto's rippling muscles! And...Oh my gosh! I could've sworn I saw a Dulce & Gabbana red dark blue pinstriped dress shirt here beofre. Slim fit!

Chouji's Confessional: Mongolian barbeque...(drool)

Neji's Confessional: Underwear! Does Versace make underwear??

"Okay. We're providing you each with 6,000¥ (Roughly $50 or £26) so go buy me something that you think I will like. Something creative! And cute! I really think you guys don't know much more about me except I like orange, ramen, and I want to be Hokage. But think between the lines! Think outside the box! Analyze me and think back to times we've had conversations. Surely I'm deeper and more profound than orange, ramen, and my dream to be Hokage!"

Iruka's Confessional: Could’ve fooled me.

"What the hell are you waiting for! Go buy presents and make me happy! Be back here in an hour! "

And the Semes were off!


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With Shikamaru:
So was Naruto telling us that he didn't want ramen?

Or was he saying that it would be okay to get ramen?

It should be okay as long as it's miso. But maybe I should be more creative... Something associated with ramen, surely. And his dream of the Hokage title. Orange too.

Uh...an orange Hokage hat with a ramen symbol on it...No!

Erm...and orange ramen cup with a Hokage symbol on it...No!

Let's see...an orange with a Hokage drawn on it put in a ramen cup...NO!

Naruto you are so troublesome...


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With Chouji...
Present for Naruto, eh?

-After eight minutes of hardcore thinking-

I think I traded my imagination for the last potato chip when I was younger.


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With Itachi:
Itachi quickly scanned store windows for anything remotely interesting enough to make him actually want to go into the store. As he walked he muttered to himself, "Naruto... gift... Naruto... gift..."

And then suddenly...!

"Wow..." Itachi breathed.

What he was staring at was absolutely gorgeous. So gorgeous, in fact that it seemed to make the entire window glow in an eerily beautiful light. And the eldest Uchiha could have sworn he heard angels humming a holy tune from above just to make the whole moment more intense.

Itachi took a step closer to the window and once he got a better look sighed disappointedly.

It was nothing more but his own reflection in a very reflective glass...

Itachi sighed and walked away.

Sometimes such handsomeness can be so beautifully unjust.


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With Neji:
"Oh. My. Gee! This shirt is perfect! How much?" Neji gushed. The white/violet muscles shirt would go so well with his eyes...

"5, 700¥ (Roughly $49 or £25), Hyuuga-sama!" the female employee gushed. Neji was one of the store's favorite customers, and she liked to help him personally every time he came into the store. His tight ass was to die for!

Neji winced as he glanced down at the 6,000¥ in his hand. There was still 300¥ left for Naruto...(AN: 300¥ out of 6,000¥. You do the math.) And he really couldn't afford to leave the shirt here. It was really popular, and by the time he leaves the mansion and the competition is over, the shirt would be long gone. Naruto would understand.

"I'll take it." He nodded determinedly, his piercing gaze reached the brunette employee and she blushed as she ran to the cash register to ring it up.


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With Rock Lee:

What to get for Naruto...

As he walks aimlessly throughout the store, he spots an anime shop.

Anime Advanced...? (AN: I'm making it up...)

He entered the store only to be bombarded with mangas, season DVDs, and countless posters of shirtless bishounens and tiny girls with huge watery eyes.

Wow...

Fullmetal Alchemist? Bleach? Inuyasha?

I've never heard of such...never seen such huge...Amazing!!

Rock Lee gazed at the FLCL section of the store and became instantly entranced by a character called Commander Amarao. (If you don't know him, then just Google him on Images. Trust me, something will stand out to you. XD)


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With Sasuke:
From the moment Sasuke realized he loved Naruto, he wanted to spoil the blond boy rotten.

And this, of course, would be an excellent opportunity- but how are you to spoil someone rotten with only 6,000¥?

The most he was able to do in his Genin days was buy the dobe as much ramen as his heart desired, but ramen won't help him out in this situation.

Naruto...what do you want??

Sasuke randomly walked into one store and then he spotted...it.

The perfect present! Naruto has to have it!

A foot massager!

Naruto always complains about how much his feet hurt after long missions. And better still, it comes in orange and can be personalized!

Sasuke, not able to find any of them asked the employee at the cash register.

"Sorry son. That man who just walked out took the last one."

Sasuke gasped and looked out the window. Surely enough, an aging man had two bags in hand and without hesitance, Sasuke ran out of the store and after the man.

"Oi! Old man! Stop wait!"

The balding man turned around to meet the desperate eyes of the young Uchiha.

"You bought the last foot massager!"

"Uh...yeah?"

"Are they good?"

The man smiled and the forming crinkles around his eyes turned upwards. "Why yes. They help me relax when I get too sore. As a matter of fact, this is my third one. There was one for my upstairs bathroom, one for my wife, and this one is going in our downstairs bathroom!"

Sasuke pulled out his 6,000¥ lightening fast. "I'll buy it from you."

"Excuse me?"

"I said I'll buy it from you!"

"Um...no thanks."

"I'm Uchiha Sasuke! I have money! I'll give double, no! Triple, what you payed for it!"

The man became slightly frightened by Sasuke's desperate tone so he slowly began to back away.

Sasuke saw the man trying to discreetly retreat and his Sharingan was somehow unconsciously activated during his babbling.

"Okay, look." Sasuke took a deep breath in and calmed down, effectively calming down the other man as well, "This is very important to me. You see I'm in this competition, The Ukette--"

"The Ukette! My daughter is totally in love with that Naru-boy..."

Sasuke growled possessively but kept himself in check. "Naruto!" He took another deep breath in and restrained from pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. He needed to get this just right...

"I'm in a challenge right now and I need to give him the perfect present. I found the perfect present- that foot massager- but you bought the last one so now I don't know what to get him..."

"Sorry." the man said, indifference lacing his tone.

The Sharingan-users lip twitched. "Okay, well now I see that you're obviously not going to give it to me so I guess I have no choice but to..." he trailed off and with sudden quick speed snatched the bag out of the old man's hand. He took off.

"Hey get back here! Where are you going with my--"

But the rest of his words were cut off as Sasuke turned a quick corner. Adrenaline pumped through his veins as he took off. Sasuke never stole anything before; he always had too much pride to do so and he looked down upon thieves, but now...look at him: Running away from an aging family man with a foot massager.

The things you do to me, dobe...


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With Neji:
"Oh my gosh! What do I do? I only have half an hour left and I haven't even made it out of the second level of the mall. How the hell am I going to find Naruto a gift with only 300¥! Kami!"

Sucks to be you, Neji.


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With Itachi:
Wonder what foolish little brother is up to?


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With Chouji:
"Bring it on! Bring it on! Bring it OOON!!!!" Chouji growled, slamming his fork and knife down on the table eagerly with a hungry roar.

"Ladies and gentlemen," a loud man with a microphone announced, "Chouji Akimachi is here today to break his previous Konoha Record of fifty-two eaten two pound Mongolian barbeque ribs! Let's give it up for our reigning champ!"

"The Chouji Akimachi!"

"Wow! I can't believe he's attempting to beat his record!"

"I heard he's in this competition to win over this blond boy..."

The barely hushed whispers circulated throughout the ever-growing crowd.

Chouji sighed. Fans and their gossip...

"What's the prize if he beats his record?" One teenage male called out.

The announcer gave a dramatic pause and it seemed like the lights dimmed as he was cast in a dramatic light.

"One and a half pounds of raw Kobe beef." The old man whispered.

The crowd gasped! Kobe beef! Such Konoha simpletons eye's had never even graced Kobe beef; only able to hear about it from fancy commercials where rich men were fed it by skinny women in skimpy bathing suits as they lounged around in their luxuries.

It was amazing!

"Kobe beef..." Chouji breathed... He could eat that beef and give Naruto something else for his birthday challenge. In all honesty, if Naruto picked someone like Sasuke, Itachi, Gaara, or Neji to be his partner, the blue-eyed boy would eat Kobe beef on a daily basis. Yet if Chouji lost, he could still have his memories with his Kobe beef. But he cared for the blond too much and even the most luxurious meat in the world would taste like sawdust if he wasn't sharing with his special blond.

Who knows...maybe Naruto would invite him to eat the beef with him?

"If you win Akimachi-sama," the announcer put the microphone right up to the chubby boy's thick lips, "what would you do with the meat?"

"I would share it with my special someone with the hopes of gaining their affections." Chouji said confidently into the microphone, not a waver in his voice.

The girls swooned.

Endless plates of Mongolian ribs were placed in front of the overweight nin and the chefs in the kitchen were struggling and sweating to make more to feed the Akimachi's seemingly endless appetite.

"Are you ready?" The announcer questioned.

Chouji nodded.

"Get set..."

Chouji positioned his fork and knife right over his plate and ignored the droplet of nervous perspiration that dribbled down to his eyebrow.

"Go!"

And Chouji dug in.


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With Naruto, Iruka, and the Three Genins:
"Iruka sensei! Can you buy me lemonade? I want the biggest cup!" Naruto tugged on the tanned Chuunin’s sleeve like a four year old rather than an eighteen year old.

"But Naruto," Iruka protested, "how come you didn't bring your own wallet?"

"Well I'm sorry!" Naruto threw his arms off of his fatherly figure as if he had been burned and turned to the side, with his arms crossed over his puffed out chest and his nose in the air. "I thought you would buy me a simple cup of lemonade after you made me cry out of worry on my special eighteenth birthday!"

The Genins sighed.

"Here's another hissy fit..." Udon sighed.

Naruto snapped his head towards the sniffling boy and glared at him through mock tears and a false hurt expression.

Naruto's Confessional: I, Uzamaki Naruto and next Hokage of the Leaf Village, has never thrown a hissy fit!

"It wasn't my fault I got sick..." Iruka mumbled off. He still felt guilty about that.

"I'm sorry Iruka-sensei," Naruto sobered up seeing his favorite sensei so sad. "You don't have to buy me the lemonade if you don't want to. I should have brought my own money..."

Iruka sniffled.

Iruka's Confessional: Cha! (wipes away fake tears) You aren't the only prankster Naruto! Hehehe...I don't have to buy that whiny Uke lemonade... (chibi Iruka holds up victory sign)

Naruto turned away with a sad smile and went to go play with the Genins.

Iruka frowned.

Iruka's Confessional: Aww...well, it is his birthday...

"Come 'ere Naruto, you big oaf." Iruka sighed.

Naruto grinned evilly yet turned around to meet Iruka with a shy smile.

Naruto's Confessional: Haha! Tried to defeat me with those lame sniffles and sobs. Pesh...I am the next Hokage of course. What kind of leader would I be if I fell for something stupid like that?

"Okay Naruto, what and how much do you want?" sighed the Chuunin again, pulling out his soon-to-be empty wallet.

"Just the Super large Super sweet Lemonade with lots of sugar please?"

Iruka's Confessional: Kami...

"Oh no!" Konohamaru whined. "Please don't make The Boss hyper! Remember what happened last ti-"

"Shut up Konohamaru! I won't get hyper. Last time was different..."

Once the one foot tall lemonade was carefully balanced over to Naruto, he immediately began to put large scoopfuls of sugar into his already over-sweetened lemonade.

Five minutes later...

"Wooow..." Moegi whispered.

Naruto ignored her and still added sugar. His once liquid lemonade looked like a yellow slushy.

Iruka pinched the bridge on his nose in exasperation as Naruto declared he was finally able to consume (if he could) his drink.

The tanned man watched as Naruto took a large gulp from the giant cup. When his head reemerged from the large container, and his face was sopping wet he frowned.

"Needs more sugar," the blond whispered to himself and began to throw in more scoopfuls.

Iruka very much knew that he was setting a hyperactive sugar-loaded Naruto out freely into an unsuspecting world and he couldn't do anything about it because Naruto looked too cute.

But he won't look so cute when half of the mall is destroyed.

Iruka let his head fall into his hands.

"Kami, what have I done?"


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With Sasuke:
Pant. Pant. Pant. Smirk. Pant.

Sasuke turned a corner that led into one of the janitor's many closets. He quickly shut the door and stared up at the bare flickering bulb on the light grey ceiling with the stolen bag clutched to his chest.

All for you Naruto... All for you... Sasuke chanted in his mind.

He slowly placed the shopping bag down on an overturned bucket.

He opened the bag and pulled out...

...A snow jacket?

A 'WTF?' expression was plastered on Sasuke's face as he soon remembered that the man was carrying more than one bag.

Oh, Goddammit!


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With Neji:
Of course! Why didn't I think of it before?

And Neji went off to the nearest Hundred Yen Store...

(American Equivalent to the Dollar Tree, Ninety-Nine cent store, etc...)


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With Chouji:
"Chouji! Chouji! Chouji!" The crowd chanted and cheered.

"Chouji eats the meat so fast it's like guzzling down water...look at him go!" The announcer raved. "This man must have some serious motivation."

Chouji smirked between chewing and swallowing.

Naruto...

The crowd began counting the ribs the fat teen was eating as he officially passed his previous world record.

"Sixty one...! Sixty two...! Sixty three! Ewww...! Gross! Sixty two... Sixty one..." The crowd began to murmur off as their faces morphed in disgust.

"Ah wait!" the announcer cheered as his once dejected mood brightened considerably as he realized The Great Chouji Akimachi was not done yet!

The crowd began to cheer again.

"Sixty two...Sixty three...!"

That Chouji Akimachi... the announcer thought smiling wryly at the determined teen.

What a guy...


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With Sasuke:
"And he had these crazy, desperate eyes... He claimed he was Sasuke Uchiha but that young prodigy would never stoop so low as to shoplift! And those 'Sharingan's were sooo contacts."

The old man Sasuke had 'borrowed' from was now talking to shinobi patrollers, no doubt describing him.

Sasuke's Confessional: (dramatic emo-sigh) My reputation is sooo screwed.

Sasuke uncharacteristically shamefully walked up to the ranting man and tapped him meekly on the shoulder.

The man turned around and his eyes widened as he realized that the criminal had returned to the scene of the crime!

"Him!" He turned to the police, viciously poking Sasuke's chest with his index finger. "That's the guy!"

One of the patroling shinobis pushed up his shinobi Konoha head protector just to scratch thoughtfully at his head.

"He sure does look like that young Uchiha, don't he?"

"Yep," the other replied, squinting his eyes at the young brunette, "sure does!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes at their stupidity.

Sasuke's Confessional: I swear, these fuckers are getting dumber every year...

He turned back t the scandalized man.

"Sir, I am so sorry I took your bag. It is so unbecoming of me. I really hope we can avoid this getting out of the public, for I still have to keep up the honor of my clan to keep up. I don't know why I did what I did! I was just under so much stress...it was killing me! I just had to get the perfect present for him or that goddamn Hyuuga and that pretty boy Aniki of mine will beat me and my kitsune will eliminate me and he won't love me!! And I finally find the perfect present, one that'll beat out both of my rivals and I find out that you took the last one! And I didn't know what came over me so now I came to correct my mistake because I found out I..."

Sasuke paused to take a deep breath after his continuous 'stress-rant' while the man and two patrollers looked at him with a 'retard say what?' expression...

"...took the wrong bag!"

Sasuke threw the shopping bag containing the winter jacket into the air, and yanked the other one the man had in his hand. His grip was so hard that the thin, brittle man fell flat on his face, but Sasuke paid him no heed as he ran three floors up to his current safe janitor closet.

As his feet pumped up and down, his train of thought was quite one-tracked.

Let me get this goddamned foot massager for this uber-sexy dobe so I'll be safe in that house with him for another motherfucking week!


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With Naruto:
Ten more minutes and I will have my first real birthday presents!!


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With Chouji:
"Wooow! And Chouji Akimachi beat his previous Konoha Record of fifty two Mongolian barbeque ribs by sixteen ribs, resulting in an astounding final count of sixty eight ribs. Give it up for the man who never lets you down, Chouji Akimachi!"

The crowd roared and raved.

Itachi walked by as he made his way back to Naruto with his present in hand.

Kobe Beef, eh? That's a good idea...I should have done that...

Itachi's Confessional: And gain an extra four pounds? No...I don't think so.

And so Itachi walked away and rolled his eyes as the attention turned away from Chouji and to his ass.

People are perverts.


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With Sasuke:
A panting Sasuke entered the janitor's closet.

Whew...Okay let's get right down to it.

He placed the shopping bag carefully onto the same overturned bucket and peered inside the bag to see...

...aww fuck!

Snow boots that matched the previous winter coat!

Sauke's Confessional: This is some straight up bullshit, right here!

And so Sasuke decided to take his frustration out on the janitor's closet.

"I am so fucking done with this bull---"

Censored.

!$&&(&$$$)&$!$&$#$$((&&/#(/!#/$///&//

--- Ten Minutes Later ---

"Yeah, actually I did see a really hot boy run in through that door. Why?"

"No time, lady. We got ourselves an Uchiha-impersonating thief to catch." On of the nins said, while the other blinked and the victimized man nodded aggressively.

"Oh...whatever." The teen went back to her shopping.

The three men advanced slowly towards the closet and when they opened the door found--

--a miserably sobbing Uchiha.

Well, he was sobbing on the inside.

What they were greeted with was a Sharingan possessed, anger-motivated, former Konoha top Rookie, emo teen.

Now, the aging man had enough common sense to run -hell he was almost to the first floor and out the mall- but our two favorite patrolling shinobis don't have much common sense as we should have all by now assumed.

"Mr. 'Uchiha' sir you're gonna have to come with us. We are afraid you've been criminalized with theft twice in the same day."

"And what if I choose not to come with you." Sasuke growled. "What if I choose to find that old sonuvabitch and get my goddamned foot massager."

"Um..." one of the men shrugged. "I guess that would be bad."

This answer was decent enough for Sasuke as he took off after the man for his assuredly final bag.

Yet these two surprisingly underestimated ANBU-ranked shinobi's were right on the tail of our Sasuke, and unfortunately caught him before he could even make it down the end of the corridor.


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With Naruto and Remaining Contestants:
"Yaaaay! Now I get to open my presents, right Iruka-sensei?!"

All men (except for the youngest Uchiha) were gathered around the lemonade stand where the blond had been waiting rather impatiently.

"Right Naruto." Iruka smiled and patted the eighteen year old on the head familiarly.

The sweet scene of Naruto huddled around by hot, eager men ready to give him gifts was surprisingly heartening. (AN: Some of you couldn't read that sentence without a perverted grin breaking out on your face, huh?)

"Um okay..." the blond scanned the crowd, "I want Kiba to go first!"

"Um...okay." the inu-boy muttered shyly and shuffled forward.

"Hereyougo!" Kiba said quickly and shoved the wrapped box towards Naruto's chest with such force the blond nearly toppled over.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes.

Shikamaru's Confessional: (Yawning) Reeeetaaard...

Naruto opened up the present to find a cute plushy of a brown/red dog and a orange/yellow fox kissing.

It was really cute.

"AWWWW...!" Lee cooed.

Lee's Confessional: I'm a hopeless romantic! (swoons precariously)

Kiba growled at how the Taijutsu specialist ruined the moment.

Kiba's Confessional: He needs to stop smiling and close his damn mouth. He's blinding my poor Naru-chan's sensitive blue eyes...

"It's so cute Kiba! Thank you." He got on his toes to give the other boy a hug. The Semes fumed with jealousy as Kiba smiled with an adorable lop-sided grin on his face.

"Let's see..." Naruto mumbled. "Oh! How about Sai!"

Sai smirked and walked up to the blond. He handed Naruto a soft, wrapped present and the blond eagerly tore apart the delicate paper to find... a belly shirt.

"Oh my gosh!" Naruto gasped, holding up the baby tee to his chest, "It's orange! Thanks Sai!"

Sai smiled politely, but when he was out of view from the bright boy he grinned deviously. What Naruto hadn't seen was that on the back of the belly shirt, there was an arrow pointing downwards towards his ass with the labeled words: Beware. Sai's Property.

Sai's Confessional: I'm sooo smart! ( chili victory sign)

"What about you Rock Lee?" Naruto called up the other boy.

"Yosh! My turn! You are going to love my present Naruto-kun!"

Now Naruto was getting excited. "Well, what are you waiting for! Show me!"

Lee pulled out his present and handed it to Naruto.

It's small. Could it be jewelry? Naruto wondered happily.

Naruto quickly unwrapped the present to find...

His face fell down in disappointment.

Yet Lee did not notice this. "You want me to put them on you?" he offered politely.

"Um...no it's okay Lee..." Naruto tried, not really wanting the other Semes to see his received present.

"Nonsense!" Lee opened the package and slapped two large Commander Amarao look-a-like eyebrows on the blond's face. The eyebrows were so thick, you could barely see the boy's blue eyes.

And once again, though the men could barely conceal their laughter, they did so much better than a certain nin.

"Wahahahahahahaha!" Sai clutched his bare stomach with one hand and held onto Kiba for support with the other. The dog boy briskly brushed the laughing Seme off and Sai fell to the floor with an ungraceful thud, the pain immediately ceasing his laughter.

"Ow..." Sai whimpered, rubbing his abused thigh.

The rest of the presents were passed on to Naruto, all with different reactions.

Kakashi gave him a calender.

Kakashi: It's filled with tons of hot semes! Enjoy!

Naruto: But I'm Seme! How come you didn't give me a calender filled with ukes!

Kakashi: You? Seme? Hahaha...you ukes have such a sense of humor.

-Naruto's feelings were very hurt-

Gaara gave him magic sand.

Naruto: Oooh. So you put the sand in the water and it turns all pretty?! You don't expect those things from an evil, sand demon-possessed, cold-hearted, Kazekage, now do you?

Shino gave him tarantula shaped chocolates.

Naruto: So...this is entirely chocolate right? I won't find a 'surprise' if I take a bite?

Shikamaru gave him a book.

Naruto: "101 Things To Do With Ramen Noodles"? (AN: It's a real book.) You know me so well Shika-kun!

Shikamaru: -blush-

Chouji gave him Kobe beef.

Naruto: Woooow! Real Kobe beef! I can't believe this? How were you able to afford this?

Chouji: I win it in a contest. That's genuine, I hope you know. Pure Kobe beef. Wagyu cattle that lives off beer and ice cream. And up until the moment of slaughter, it's thighs and rump are massaged by geishas!

-Naruto and Chouji both look in awe at the Kobe beef-

Naruto: Naturally, you'll have to eat with me, of course!

Chouji: -blush- Okay...

Pause.

Naruto: Can we eat it with ramen?

Chouji: -face-fault-

Neji gave him...

Naruto: What the hell is this?!

Neji: You don't like it?

Naruto: A pack of gum and a pair of plastic chopsticks? This cost you 6,000¥?

Iruka: Naruto, don't be stingy.

Itachi gave him a photo.

Itachi: Of myself!

Naruto: Why would you give me a photo of you?

Itachi: -pout-

Naruto: -nervous- Though it is a very nice photo!

Itachi: I got it because it was the best thing in this peasant market. -glares around at the surrounding mall-

Naruto: -laughs nervously-

"Where's Sasuke?" Naruto wondered aloud?

As if on cue, Sasuke came through a separating crowd of people looking indeed very pissed. He was handcuffed and was being pulled along by two shinobi.

"Hey you!" Naruto called out and ran towards the captive Sasuke. "Where are you taking Sasuke?"

"Sasuke? No, no, no. You have it all wrong young lady. This is an Uchiha imposter."

Naruto's face went red in embarrassment and anger. "Who the hella are you calling 'YOUNG LADY'!?!"

The shinobi took a step back. "Okay sir, this 'Uchiha'," he took a disdainful glance towards Sauke, "is a thief!"

"Sasuke? No! Sasuke never steals! He can explain this misunderstanding, right Teme?"

"Um...W-Well you see..." Sasuke stuttered, "first of all! I am Sasuke Uchiha! Second, I was just trying to get Naru-chan the perfect present! Is that too much too ask? I just wanted to get him the best present!"

Naruto was stunned into silence...and that's saying something.

"You got arrested to get the perfect present for me, Teme?" Naruto whispered.

"Well, yeah. It was going to be your first birthday present from me, so I wanted it to be special."

"Aww...that's so sweet..." one of the nins cooed while witnessing the touching scene.

"It was just an act of love, sir." Naruto sighed happily, "Can't you let Sasuke go? This is his first offence..."

"If this really is the Sasuke Uchiha you claim him to be, this is certainly not his first offence." said one of the men.

"What?!" Naruto gasped.

"He was caught looting some perverted books a few years back...we let him go that time, but we won't let him escape justice twice!" said one of the men dramatically.

"Oh no! How long will he be in for?" Naruto wondered aloud.

"Seven or eight hours...give or take."

"Really?" Sasuke asked astonished at the small amount of time.

"Really, kid. But c'mon. You still have to do your time."

As they dragged Sasuke away, Naruto suddenly asked, "Hey Teme! What were you gonna get me?"

"A foot massager! Orange, personalized, and everything!" Sasuke called back but the youngest Uchiha missed Naruto's smile.

Naruto's Confessional: He remembered how I said I wanted one back in our Genin days...

Sasuke...

The entire group heard nothing yet they were able to figure out that Sasuke was going to jail.

Itachi's Confessional: Oh no... my foolish little Otouto has become a drug addict. He's dragging our family name through the mud! It was crack wasn't it? Pot? Ecstacy? Did the massacre of our clan really bother him that much?

Itachi sighed.

"Don't drop the soap little brother!" he called out in futile.


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Back at the Mansion:
"Moegi, Konohmaru, Udon. Is the Ceremony ready?"

"Yup, chief!" the three chorused.

"Good. Let's begin."

Naruto walked briskly to the table.

“No time for games because Sasuke-teme decided to get his ass thrown in jail and I have to bail him out after this.”

The men snickered at the youngest Uchiha’s misfortune.

Itachi’s Confessional: Goddamn drugs...

Naruto raised a cup and called out, "Gaara."

The redhead smirked and went to retrieve his cup.

"Shikamaru."

The shadow-user sighed in relief and muttered how the short wait was troublesome.

"Chouji."

The chubby boy (who may have gained a good five pounds after this afternoon) walked up shyly to greet the blond.

"I'm looking forward to us putting that Kobe beef to good use, Chouji." Naruto whispered into the other's ear, driving the brunette up the wall with depraved ideas.

The other Semes glared with jealousy.

And the names were called out one by one: Kiba, Shino, Kakashi, Itachi, Sai, and surprisingly Neji.

"So it has come down to me and Sasuke-san, ne Naruto-kun?" Lee asked sadly.

"Aa." said Naruto.

"Lee, you're present was very sweet. And I can tell you put so much thought into it. But the main point of this challenge (besides me getting presents) was for me to find someone who understands me. The eyebrows, Lee, was very much not me. They were you. But the thought was sweet, and even though some people also missed the entire point of this challenge," the blond glowered pointedly at Itachi and Neji, "you, Lee, were very off."

"But Naruto-kun..."

"And, yes. I do know that Sasuke going to jail for a present,was a little over the top. I really didn't expect that sort of drama, especially from Sasuke. He should have known that giving me anything that remotely symbolizes me or simply something orange would satisfy me. But the fact that he remembered what I wish I had the money to purchase for from way back when we were twelve, really blew me away. It made me see that maybe Sasuke cared for me longer and so much more than I may have ever realized."

Lee sighed.

"So Lee, please don't be offended but I think it is your time to go." Naruto lifted up the cup revealing Sasuke's name.

"And when Sasuke's bail is finally paid I think he'll be glad to know that he won the challenge!"

The other men grumbled angrily.

"Goodbye, Naruto-kun. Good luck finding that special someone."

"Thanks Fuzzy Brows! You too!"

Rock Lee gave a final Nice Guy Pose, a blinding smile, and grabbed his pre-packed luggage from a random servant, as he left the building.

The rest of the room's occupants went upstairs to prepare for bed, while Naruto headed out with his favorite frog purse to bail Sasuke out of prison.

Naruto's Confessional: (chuckle) I hope he didn't drop the soap.


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Konoha Prison (Or Wherever They Keep Their Criminals):
"Hiya Sasuke! You alright?"

"Hey Naruto. Yeah I'm fine..." The Uchiha smiled, glad that the blond came to pick him up.

"Oh my god! Sasuke! What happened?!" Naruto squeeled.

"Huh?" Sasuke stopped rubbing his abused ass to look at the blond.

"Why are you clutching your ass? Did y-you drop the soap?!"

Sasuke gave the blond a blank stare.

"Did I drop the soap?" Sasuke looked at Naruto with a 'WTF' expression.

Naruto's large watery blue eyes provided no answer.

Sasuke then realized what the shorter boy meant and smiled, truly touched by the blond's concern.

"No, yet almost as bad."

Naruto gasped.

"I think that guy gave me a cavity search just because he could..." Sasuke grimaced.

Naruto paused and then giggled.

"Sasuke-teme's patrolling shinobis were ecchi ecchi hentai!" Naruto laughed.

Sasuke swatted at the blond playfully.

"Shut up, dobe."

And the two walked back to the mansion, joking and laughing as they did six years ago.


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In Bedroom 5 (A.K.A. Kaka's Pad):
Kakashi laid awake in his bed. As the moonlight poured in from his window, he was kept alert by his thoughts.

Iruka looked a tad bit cute today when he saw what I gave Naru-chan. That calendar with all those Semes had him blushing like mad.

The silver haired man chuckled.

If he weren't so into his precious Naru-chan, he would have thought that Iruka's blush was cute. And that the scar over his nose was undeniably attractive...bordering sexy. And maybe even that his protective worrying was heart-warming and adorable.

But that was if he didn't love his Naru-chan.

And he did, so all of those things about Iruka were invisible... even to his Sharingan eye.


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